


the lifespan of a star

by latenights



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Study, Star motifs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 21:45:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3463160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/latenights/pseuds/latenights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa Tooru is a universe boy, with galaxies in his eyes and nebulas in his breaths, tracing out his path through constellations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the lifespan of a star

i.

Oikawa Tooru is eight years old when he looks up at the night sky in its vast, endless glory of stars and thinks, “If I grow taller, I’ll definitely be able to touch them.” When he tells his mother, she ruffles his hair and gives him her blessings. When he tells Iwa-chan, they start measuring their heights on the old tree in his backyard, carving marks into the rough bark before his mother catches them and gives them a good scolding. Later, she pulls them over by the door frame of his bedroom and stencils in their heights with a marker.

(He pouts when Iwa-chan is a tiny bit taller than he is but it doesn’t stop him from dreaming of holding stardust in the palm of his hands.)

 

 

ii.

Oikawa Tooru is thirteen years old and he loses to Ushijima Wakatoshi for the first time. He is bright and brilliant but his radiance has a limit. As hot as he can burn, he cannot outshine the sun.

He practices until his palms are raw and stinging, until the last of the club members have dragged their weary bodies home, until Iwaizumi has to forcibly tug him by the collar of his gym shirt into the locker room. It’s dark when they walk home together, enough for the stars to peek out in the black curtain of the sky.

“You’re pushing yourself too hard,” Iwaizumi tells him. “There’s no point in getting better if you’re going to hurt yourself.”

“There’s always someone better. _I_ have to get better.”

Oikawa Tooru is thirteen years old and he’s past the age of believing that the stars could be close enough to touch.

(But the marks on his door frame have gone higher, his serves stronger, more precise, and he still continues to play. Still sees galaxies behind his eyelids when he closes them.) 

 

 

iii.

Oikawa Tooru is fifteen years old when Kageyama Tobio joins Kitagawa Daiichi. Out of all the stars that could have arrived on court, he receives Sirius, the brightest of all.

During practice, he sets too desperately and serves too recklessly. The ball slips out of his hand and his angles are all off. His coach pulls him out and lets Kageyama in. The bench fells cold against his thighs and his fingernails dig so hard into his knees that had they been any longer, his skin would have bled.

He thinks of dying stars, of collapsing stars, destroyed by their own gravity. Suddenly his eyes are wet and stinging and all he sees are stellar remnants.

(The older markings on his door frame are faded. He hasn’t bothered with measuring his height the past one and a half years, just as he hasn’t bothered with wishing on stars that are too far away that they’re dead before their light ever reaches the earth.)

 

 

iv.

Oikawa Tooru is still fifteen when he feels invincible.

Iwaizumi’s headbutt knocks into him as hard as a planetary collision but he finally understands in that moment when all his words finally form and click in his head. A Big Bang.

He is not Sirius, but he doesn’t need to be. A star by itself is bright but brighter in a constellation, and he does his best to intensify the brilliance of his team, turns them into Orion in the sky. They play hard and they play well. Although they only win one set against Shiratorizawa, he still feels like he’s riding comets as he looks down at the gleaming plaque in his hands.

(His mother watches him with pleasant surprise when he tries to draw a line where the top of his head reaches the door frame. Tall and still growing.)

 

 

v.

Oikawa Tooru is seventeen years old and he’s playing the most important match of his high school life. He’s bright and brilliant but he’s not Sirius ( _not_ _yet_ ). He may have his limits, and one day he’ll reach them and collapse on himself (but _not yet_ ). He’ll go out like a supernova, burning and radiant, dimming the galaxies around him (but _not yet_ ). For now, he is still expanding, just like the universe they live in. His meteoric serves blaze onto the other side of the net and his teammates shout and cheer and clap him on his back.   

(He and Iwaizumi reminisce about the markings on his door.

“You thought that you could touch the stars if you grew tall enough,” his best friend remarks fondly.

“I have,” he answers, a proud smile on his lips and a universe of promise in his eyes. “And I’ll go even higher.”)   

Higher into the vast, immeasurable, awesome sky.

**Author's Note:**

> my submission to the oikawa fanzine, found here http://oikawa-apologist.tumblr.com/post/112449052100/presenting-headed-for-a-grander-stage-an


End file.
